Mason/Brookline Trail, NH: From the Back Seat

At least this time we didn't have to leave with the chirping birds, but finally climbed into the Bark-mobile around the time we get hungry after eating when we wake up. We zipped over the big road that hangs over the water (yikes!!) and out into the tree-lined really fast road ... only it wasn't so fast. Boy did it take a looooooong time to get out to where the air was clean, but we finally made it just as it was getting dark. Just about then, the water stopped falling out of the sky, and the speckles in the darkness started to show all over the sky.

Big Guy was expecting to meet all the other guys but we were the first there. He opened up the Bark-mobile and started pulling stuff out. He set up the little house with thin walls, made a fire and cooked some sausages, which we shared with Wrecker's buddy John, a real nice guy. Now it was quite dark, and tho I kept hinting in ways so obvious even the thickest of you two-leggeds would understand, Big Guy just wouldn't go into the little house and go to sleep. Then I saw why; in rolled Wrecker Reed, and not far behind came Techno-wiz, Big Daddy, and Lil' John (he make me think of pizza, I dunno why). Also, Prez brought up the rear in his ride Mr. Ed. So we got down to some butt-sniffing, and a little drinking of beverages before we all crawled off to our little soft houses. One thing I can tell you, man, my ears just about froze off that night. It was c-c-c-c-c-c-cold!

Morning came, Big Guy groaned his way to upright and stumbled out, made his infamous camping coffee, and we all managed to drag ourselves back into the trucks. After a kind of long wait in a parking lot, BG came back and told me how you all walked into a Friendly's, (which was none too) and scared the poor person who brings the food. Made me laugh, and then I settled in for a little nap as drove a while only to park on the side of a sandy road, while Wrecker investigated why his toy . . . ota was going lame. Not even on the trail yet, and the Wrecker earns his name. A credit to his breed, I say.

After swatting gnats for a while, we climbed back into the trucks and wound our way onto the trail. Lots of jouncing me around the back, plenty of rocks and boulders to crawl over, with good muddy splashes in between. Our first big wait once on the trail was when the Tan Whale, driven by Mark "Rock Mars-man" Roseman beached itself over some pointy rocks, dropping it's skidplate and part of its front axle in the mud. Rock, buddy, even a dog can see you gotta get some height under that baby, or you'll be dealing with skinned bellies for the rest of eternity (7 eternities, to me).

Coming up over the next incline, I watched as a bunch of us tried to roll over backwards going up a rock face. I was praying BG would chicken out on this one, I had no desire to find myself face to face with the dome-light. Citing his own father: "Discretion is the better part of valor" and using the excuse that the New England group was hot on his tail, BG answered my prayers, and much to Lil' John's disappointment took the trail (no superhighway itself) up over the crest rather than the rock face. Just remember BG, he who drives and turns away, lives to drive another day (hey!!, write that down!) Never mind the chicken clucks, BG, I didn't miss anything.

We continued on the trail, Tan Whale like a three-legged dog, limping along, and started up a trail covered in broken logs, downed wood. Not a problem until Lucy's ride managed to snag an airline (that's what I heard BG call it) rendering the rear locker dead. Down over the hill Lucy's ride (with Ted driving) and Rock in his Whale bugged out for kinder roads (boy were THEY in for a surprise!) while the rest of us idiots turned around to see if we couldn't actually jar our kidneys out of their usual places driving over the rock gardens we found. To quote the Prez: "Yeah, that was a gnarly little hill coming down!" I don't mind saying, by this time, I was ready for a big chunk of meat and a soft bed. I focused on it real hard, and tried to get BG to hear what I was thinking. It must have worked, because as the light started to fade, we eased back out the gate onto the sandy road for the ride back to our sleeping place. And the most important thing of all . . . DINNER!!!!!

Fire raging in the fire ring, grills going, meat charring, nothing better after a day on the trail. Poor Techno-whiz and Wrecker had to go back for Wrecker's truck, too lame to limp back to the campsite, but we saved food for them. I jumped up into the Bark-mobile to sleep: that ground was too wet and cold for me, while BG rested his chin on his chest and made loud honking noises by the fire. Pretty soon, Big Daddy Guy was tilted over in his chair, joining the chorus of honkers. After a while, everyone stumbled off to their little soft houses and the full chorus burst into honking and wheezing.

We woke to rain, just enough to make everything wet and sloppy for breaking camp. We crawled to upright (two feet for most of you, four for me), had coffee, stuffed all the stuff back into the trucks and headed down the highway. A new twist for the ride home: BG pulled the Bark-mobile into this big kind of garage, which hummed and moved a lot. I wasn't risking getting out of the Jeep there, man, it was too scary for me. But BG and the others (Techno, Lil'John and Fast Willie) all enjoyed themselves, having a snack by the Jeep and chilling for an hour or so. I guess we'll be doing this from now on, as it made all the guys much happier. Me?? I slept. Until we got home, where I bee-lined it to the big bed, as usual, and sighed in relief to be home.

Until next time, remember: Keep all four paws on the ground and your furry side up!